Invisible Families, by Terry Stewart - Book Review

This is a love story, about Terry's love for her gay son, which led her to examine her beliefs and prejudices. Her empathy for similar families in the community led her to write a book that has helped many, and which has become a NZ classic

At any time in any community, gay, lesbian, bisexual people and their families tend to be “Invisible Families”. Homosexuality is a subject not openly discussed, so although they form a sizeable proportion of the population most families with a gay family member, are silent, and live in fear of family and community prejudice. They find their own knowledge about homosexuality is limited to whatever they learned in family and community when they were growing up. When a child or family member comes out they are thrown into confusion and find it difficult to obtain accurate information to answer the many questions that arise.

Terry Stewart tells her own family story, giving a very honest account of the impact her son's coming out had at first, and then how on reflection she realized that her thoughts and feelings had been shaped by her background and were in fact untrue. The wider family was very supportive when they found out. Four years later, attending a writing course, she was challenged to write a book that would help other families with gay children . To gather a wider focus, she interviewed many gay and lesbian and bisexual people, their parents, siblings, and other family members, thus each topic discussed is enhanced by the experiences and wisdom of many people .

Chapters cover such topics as Common Paren tal Fears, What determines Sexual Orientation?, Religion and Homosexuality, Legal Issues, Helping Ourselves, and honest, accurate well researched discussion of many other topics.. There is also a chapter about Gay and lesbian spouses or parents, a situation many families find themselves in.

“Invisible Families”is written in a clear, easy to read style, full of warmth and humanity. .Reading it would be a useful starting point for any family to begin to talk openly about homosexuality, heal rifts and work towards a loving understanding.

It would also be a wonderful resource for counselors, teachers, friends, and anyone involved with sexuality issues in NZ and everywhere.

This book was first published in 1993, by modern standards, an 'old' book.

It is testament to its continuing value to families , that it has been republished by Heartflags Publishing, Sydney, and has been translated into several languages including German, Dutch, and Chinese. It is also available as an e book

We at PFLAG South are deeply thankful to Terry Stewart.

The book is available online at: